Back to Acting

I was away from acting for about 12 years. Now that Lyme has rotted my brain, I don't have access to my photogenic memory that allowed me to act professionally. So, it takes me a little longer to remember what I'm supposed to say. I'm also older so the parts I used to get, I'm not privy to. And just like in Hollywood, a man of 50 can be paired with a chick of 25, but not a woman his own age, because we look old, right? It's so depressing. 
Being away some 12 or so years things have changed. But I'm catching on rather quickly. I'm primarily a stage actress and I finally got onstage!  I work backstage too; makeup, costumes, ushering, anything to help out and be a part of group and a community. It's not the easiest thing to do when you're in your 40's and just moved to the Southern Maryland area, making friends, I mean. I'm a city girl. It's hard to really put myself out there, but if I don't do it, I'll be sitting at home unhappy. Someone said a long time ago-"Ninety percent of life is how we react to the ten percent of life that happens to us."
As for my Lyme, it's getting better. I had my catheter in until I went in the hospital for what they called a "little heart attack" whatever that means, you can figure that out for yourself. Then I had a bleed out in Florida from too much blood thinners and a lab that forgot to call my cell phone. They also called my Dr's office, but it was 10pm and my Dr. 's doesn't work those hours, maybe yours does? I now have the catheter out which tested positive for MRSA. I'm much healtier now that I'm in remission, but I have to be on meds, and also go through some treatment to help me lose weight and get me back to my resting metabolic setpoint I ahd before I got sick. The loss of my adrenals and thyroid porked me out to 246! I weighed 128-138 most of my life! I now weigh 219, but the rest of the will not come off, and when I exercise it puts stress on my already fragile joints, so this is what they have to do. wait until I write about that.
I also had no libido for quite awhile and that was a bit stressful to say the least in a new marriage. So now, I 'm starting to get better and it was awakened like Sleeping Beauty beng kissed when she was alsleep, only not. I got my part in a show and my character has to kiss someone onstage. Not a little kiss, but a big huge kiss. This woke me up-literally. I felt the chemistry. Mind you, we don't have chemistry with everyone. And when we do have chemistry with someone it doesn't always mean we act on it. It some times means that we can recognize we still have "it." I feel attractive and alive again, something I haven't felt in along time and I'm grateful to know it's still there.