I know you want me to get better quick, but .......

Today is the life celebration for my Dr. who passed away on 12/21 from Lyme related heart issues. He taught me how to live a better life being very ill.There are various reasons I've felt alone and estranged with my Lyme. People do not understand, and think I'm lazy or being mean. I have stage 4 Lyme and it has reached my brain. There are times I can't talk right, or form certain words. I say the wrong thing. I get depressed and sad for no reason.. I have so many physical problems, I get paranoid that people get sick of listening to me or think I'm lying.  My short term memory is shot. Sometimes I hear voices and see things or I don't know who you are for a minute.I know it isn't real, but nonetheless terrifying.  That's scary and being a mental health therapist, I will continue to help others afflicted as well. I lost my marriage and my new relationship because of my disease. My days revolve around my medications and my doctor appointments. There are days I can't leave the house because I'm in so much pain, but through it all, I have to accept that and keep pushing forward.

My Second Cupping Treatment

My second cupping treatment did not render the monster bacteria the first one did. But enough bacteria emerged from my forehead to take my migraine symptoms away. It also helped to clear my brain and take my Lyme disease journal to my blog where it belongs. I've dealt with so much pain and terror of my own and my client's that I forget how shocking some of this shit may be to others and I get that. I have moved my facebook journal to my blog.
The second cupping was also a spiritual experience, just as it is sacred to walk where our ancestors walked such as the untouched parks, the treatment of cupping and needles is an ancient tradition during the days of Abraham and a precursor to medicine.
The cupping again cleared my head again with a force I did not see until three hours later. I know now I must meet me pain with gratitude and a power for me to call God and ask for goodness and grace.
My first treatment lasted 7 days before I herxed and 9 when my attitude and brain started to change to an irritable, crying, plasmic mess.
I had two cuppings on my forehead which looks rather frighting, but when I saw what came out, no wonder my sinuses never cleared with the amount of biofilm which was lurking under the surface. I will be continuing my herbs and essential oils which will be documented here

later.

Back to Acting

I was away from acting for about 12 years. Now that Lyme has rotted my brain, I don't have access to my photogenic memory that allowed me to act professionally. So, it takes me a little longer to remember what I'm supposed to say. I'm also older so the parts I used to get, I'm not privy to. And just like in Hollywood, a man of 50 can be paired with a chick of 25, but not a woman his own age, because we look old, right? It's so depressing. 
Being away some 12 or so years things have changed. But I'm catching on rather quickly. I'm primarily a stage actress and I finally got onstage!  I work backstage too; makeup, costumes, ushering, anything to help out and be a part of group and a community. It's not the easiest thing to do when you're in your 40's and just moved to the Southern Maryland area, making friends, I mean. I'm a city girl. It's hard to really put myself out there, but if I don't do it, I'll be sitting at home unhappy. Someone said a long time ago-"Ninety percent of life is how we react to the ten percent of life that happens to us."
As for my Lyme, it's getting better. I had my catheter in until I went in the hospital for what they called a "little heart attack" whatever that means, you can figure that out for yourself. Then I had a bleed out in Florida from too much blood thinners and a lab that forgot to call my cell phone. They also called my Dr's office, but it was 10pm and my Dr. 's doesn't work those hours, maybe yours does? I now have the catheter out which tested positive for MRSA. I'm much healtier now that I'm in remission, but I have to be on meds, and also go through some treatment to help me lose weight and get me back to my resting metabolic setpoint I ahd before I got sick. The loss of my adrenals and thyroid porked me out to 246! I weighed 128-138 most of my life! I now weigh 219, but the rest of the will not come off, and when I exercise it puts stress on my already fragile joints, so this is what they have to do. wait until I write about that.
I also had no libido for quite awhile and that was a bit stressful to say the least in a new marriage. So now, I 'm starting to get better and it was awakened like Sleeping Beauty beng kissed when she was alsleep, only not. I got my part in a show and my character has to kiss someone onstage. Not a little kiss, but a big huge kiss. This woke me up-literally. I felt the chemistry. Mind you, we don't have chemistry with everyone. And when we do have chemistry with someone it doesn't always mean we act on it. It some times means that we can recognize we still have "it." I feel attractive and alive again, something I haven't felt in along time and I'm grateful to know it's still there.